First, let me give a brief explanation of what an empath is, especially since I reference them a lot. An empath is a specified version of a highly sensitive person (HSP). They can easily pick up on other’s people’s energies, and is often highly intuitive. They feel WAY more deeply than the average person, and are super sensitive to the world around them. I’ll never forget the day I read my first empath article on the internet. It literally felt like a weight coming off my shoulder! I answered yes to every question and I finally could understand why it took me three years to be able to be in the same room as an ex-boyfriend that had severely hurt me.
Now that I could pinpoint what was going on, the anger set in. Why on earth do I have to be like this? It’s exhausting, scary, frustrating, and intense. I wanted to be like everybody else I knew, and just “get over it” as fast as the words could leave my mouth. Yeah, I WISH. Empaths don’t work like that…..
All energies affect us, which explains why super pessimistic personalities and attitudes DRAIN the fuck out of me. I found myself making excuses to not be around them, no matter how much I love them and miss them. Same goes for manic and toxic personalities. It is very painful to be around them. I think a lot of people get the impression that I think I’m better than them. Not true. Not better, just different.
Other traits typically come with being an empath, such as this really, really, annoying one, which I call ‘I need to save everyone syndrome.” I literally feel like I need to save everyone, be nice and say yes to everyone, and that I need to sacrifice my needs for the ones I love. Let’s break this down.
I feel like everyone needs to be saved.
This is especially prominent in my romantic relationships unfortunately. When I feel like a man “doesn’t have his shit together” I automatically see this as an opportunity for his growth, and since I know I was born to help other people, this seems like a match made in heaven. WRONG. This will never get you a successful relationship or a successful life. People CAN change, but only if they truly want to, not because you feel they SHOULD. The only change you’re responsible for is the changing of yourself. Change yourself, and eventually you may not feel responsible for saving everyone else. This way, old patterns won’t repeat itself (I need to keep working on this, clearly).
Always be nice and say yes to EVERYTHING.
Saying no is one of the greatest ways to achieve self-care. You can’t be at every birthday party, every bridal shower, and every 4th birthday party. The guilt is strong with me on this one, but guilt is such a waste of time. Trying to please everyone will get you nowhere but drained. Come on, empath, you KNOW better!
I need to sacrifice my needs for the ones I love
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Bad, bad, idea. It’s really easy to be in love with someone, and to take on a lot of their feelings. But you have to remember, those aren’t yours. I always tell my clients that when they are having a feeling, ask yourself, are those yours or are they your partners? So if you feel the need for alone time, but your partner is an extrovert, honor your feelings. A lifetime of neglecting them will surely lead to a rocky road.
Some empath statistics
Did you know that only 2-3% of people in this world are empaths? That is a really small number, but let me reassure, WE DO EXIST AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE. This explains why other people have such a hard time understanding the types of people we are. We are literally a RARE breed.
If you are an empath having a difficult time I’d love to talk to you! Email me at Justine@hashtagintuition or go here to set up a free clarity session with me.