Tinder: It’s All Fun and Games until You Come across a Virgin Sasquatch Opera Singer

Tinder: The Best App Since Sliced Bread

Tinder and I have a love/hate relationship (which is the WORST kind by the way, very UNHEALTHY). Sometimes I’m addicted and call it my ‘crack’ and sometimes I just don’t touch it for weeks, oftentimes months.

For those who don’t know what Tinder is, it is an online dating app where you can swipe left (for no) and right (for yes) based on other’s people’s looks. I know what you’re thinking, shallow. Oh so shallow…

Yes, it is. I am not defending it at all. However, it is ignorant to be unconscious of physical attraction. Physical attraction does not necessarily equal beauty but it sure as hell gets your foot in the door for a conversation with what could quite possibly be a beautiful romance.

“But isn’t Tinder just for fucking?” says everyone reading this post. This is the way I like to think of it. When you go into a bar, how many people there are looking for love, and how many are looking to fuck? I go to bars often, and I am living proof I am the semi-rare breed looking for love. Same with Tinder, you just have to weed out the fuckboys (look up fuckboy on Urban Dictionary, trust me, you won’t be disappointed).

I find as a HUGE pro of Tinder, is the fact that it BARELY takes any effort at all. This is so appealing to a busy person (I most definitely fit into this category) who has a million projects going on at the same time. I swipe during work, on my lunches, and sometimes when I’m binge-watching my current obsession (right now: Orange is the New Black, AMAZEBALLS). Also, you get to meet people that know absolutely NOTHING about you, or know any of your friends. This appeals to me greatly considering I tend to date my friends and that leads to ended friendships that take a GIANT emotional toll on me. So YAY for strangers.

But now that I mentioned STRANGERS, let’s talk about the very real chance someone may be a serial killer (that went morbid real quick, huh?). LOL! Sorry about that, but it’s true, be careful! People are not in their right minds and not everyone has good intentions (sadly).

My Life as a Tinderella

Since I’ve been a consistent Tinderella (I take no credit in making this up, but I do like it) for some time now, I’d like to offer you some tips on weeding out a connection or a FUCKBOY disconnection.

What I like to do, is chat with them, first over the app, then if it progresses, then over texts. But when I say PROGRESSES, I mean ‘Are they on the same level as you?’ I know what you’re thinking, that sounds PRETENTIOUS AS FUCK. But it’s really not. I know it’s important for me to find someone on the same level emotionally and spiritually, and it can be really difficult and frustrating. However, it is SOMETHING THAT I NEED, and I just can’t sacrifice that. That would be going against my intuition, and well, as mentioned, is my strongest attribute.

So after a few days of texting, if it’s all going swimmingly well, I suggest a coffee date for about an hour. I prefer coffee over alcohol (I mean on first dates, not necessarily ALL THE TIME, because that’s simply just not true). To my knowledge, you can’t get drunk on caffeine, so a coffee date allows you to be more of your authentic self and really get to know the other person (no beer goggles either).

Fuckboys in Action

Here is a really great example of a fuckboy:


Yes, this is a REAL conversation between two consenting adults. This is some of the fuckery you will have to deal with. This is a con. It’s okay, this is pretty common. Fuckboys will be fuckboys, keep moving.

Or, you can see something like this:



I have to admit, this was passed along from a friend of mine. I almost didn’t believe it. But hey, virgin Sasquatches need love too.

I guess in conclusion, Tinder isn’t so bad. I know dating is hard. It is so difficult finding a REAL connection with another. I struggle. Sometimes I cry (hey, I’m emotional), but I keep going. I just try to be excited as much as I possibly can for every date, because you just NEVER know. Love is the only real thing in this world, and you just can’t lose hope, ever. And I never will.

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