The Misunderstandings of What an Empath Actually is, and How to Love One Correctly

So a few months back, I went out in the Village with an old friend who had helped me with an online project years ago, when I was in my early twenties. We had always been Facebook friends, so he casually mentioned my statuses about my declarations of being an EMPATH. He told me that I look a little bit on the crazy side, claiming I’m an empath and that I have psychic powers. Let me be clear, I have NEVER claimed to have psychic powers! My sweet, sweet, ignorant friend (SMDH), that is not what an empath is! So I spent the next few minutes trying to explain it to someone who is not very spiritual or emotional. It was a challenge to say the least.

Empaths are highly sensitive, finely tuned instruments when it comes to emotions. They feel everything, sometimes to an extreme, and are less apt to intellectualize feelings. Intuition is the filter through which they experience the world.

That is the best definition of a true empath I have heard. Empaths are in constant battle of feeling extreme empathy, as well as all other emotions. We are less logical and so much more emotional. It is a daily struggle. But I have to tell you, figuring that out about myself made everything clearer. When I look back, I can totally understand why I behaved the way I did in certain situations, especially situations in which very strong negative emotions were present.

For example, one of my guy friends got his girl pregnant, and I knew deep down inside he didn’t really want children right now, and in the past, he has expressed to me that he wasn’t sure if this girl was the one. So naturally, when I heard the news from a mutual friend, I instantly became sick to my stomach and I couldn’t eat anything for the rest of the night. MIND YOU, this has nothing to do with my life directly. Yet, I had felt some of his nervousness and doubt.

Another example is when my ex-boyfriend’s brother died, I again felt sick to my stomach for his loss, and I did not eat the rest of the day as well (CLEARLY anything emotional shrinks my appetite, my waistline thanks me).

It is so hard living in this world as an empath. SO FRIGGIN HARD. This is why I tend to spend a lot of time alone, because I literally can’t be around people sometimes, I feel their energy. If the energy is negative it really, really drains me. Which is why, my entire life, I’ve been known to cut off people or just simply take massive amounts of space away from them. What I wish everyone knew, was that I am not trying to be a bitch. I do not hate you. In fact, I don’t hate anyone. I actually love everyone. It’s a struggle, but I do it. I just can’t be around certain people sometimes, especially those who love the drama. I literally CAN’T take it, it is just super painful.

SO, with that being said, usually the more I love you, the more likely the chances I will cut you out if you hurt me. I work on this every day, because the truth is, you really can’t cut people out that you hurt you, because that’s not how love works. I work really hard to not be attached to these feelings. Like Buddha said, “The root of all suffering is attachment.” This is so true.

So how does an empath break free from the paralyzing sensitivity of feeling others’ emotions? Well, one thing I’ve realized is that there is no way to escape feeling others’ emotions, so you must surrender to it. When I say surrender, I mean accepting that this is who you are, and surrendering to what you can’t change. So you must feel the feeling, LIKE REALLY FEEL IT. You need to be strong enough to feel it and once you do, you then have the power to let it go. When I say let it go, I mean, RELEASE THE FEAR. The truth is, it’s all about fear. FEAR that they’ll hurt you again. FEAR that they’ll never change. FEAR that you will never be able to forgive. It’s all backed by fear. The funny thing is, FEAR isn’t even real. Only love is. When you act out of love as opposed to fear, you are ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS making the right decision. How do I know that? Because the universe doesn’t make mistakes. You must trust the universe has a master plan for you, and will never give you anything you can’t handle. A-FUCKING-MEN.

Tough love does not work well with an empath

Now that you know what an empath is, perhaps you may love one. If this is the case, just really try to be patient with this person. Really try to understand, now knowing quite a bit about them, how they operate and think. They operate on a deep emotional level, so feelings that you find to not be a big deal, empaths may find excruciatingly painful. So please, on behalf of all empaths, USE SOME SENSITIVITY. PLEASE. WE ARE BEGGING YOU.