The Art of De-Specialization
We are ALL guilty of it. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re doing it. As a highly sensitive person, I notice it all too well. More often than not, this specializing of people comes from those in a higher authority than us. In general, this feeling we get in the pit of our stomachs when we identify someone as SUPERIOR to us, is called SPECIALIZING.
I first learned this term when I read the amazing book by Gabrielle Bernstein called Spirit Junkie (if you haven’t read it yet, I HIGHLY recommend, it will change your life!). This specializing of people is an action directly related to FEAR. FEAR is the one thing that holds us back all the time. What we need to remember is that it’s not real. It’s only a manifestation of our ego.
Here are some tips to de-specialize the people in your everyday life:
They’re a person, too! SOMEONE has to oversee your work. Just remember, they started somewhere too. I understand you want them to like you, and I understand you want them to respect you, but you don’t need to sacrifice yourself and put them on a pedestal to do it.
Your Significant Other
YOU TWO ARE EQUALS. I can’t say that enough. In a healthy relationship, both parties feel happy, safe and valued. If you find yourself truly believing “I don’t deserve this person” then you are specializing them. You deserve love just like everybody else. You are WORTHY of love just like everybody else.
This just happened to me recently, in fact. I met one of my idols at an event (Yes, you guessed it, Gabrielle Bernstein) and while I was on the line to meet her I became SO nervous. When it was my turn to meet her, I clammed up, got very awkward and couldn’t stop blushing. Yes, it is surreal to meet someone you idolize so much. It’s also good to have a positive role model to look up to. But try to keep in mind, Gabrielle wakes up every morning and puts her shoes on one at a time, just like everybody else.
Well, hope that helps! Like I said, I’m highly sensitive, so this type of behavior happens quite often to me. I practice the art of de-specializing as soon as I identify it is happening, and hopefully you can, too!