Oh lordddddddddddddddd. This is a tough one, but TOTALLY resonates with me.
Thanksgiving is a time for facing fear...
A major holiday just passed, which means lots of time spent with family members that aren’t a part of my everyday life. So you can imagine I got this question a lot: “What’s new with you?”
Well, first of all, SO MUCH. I have never been this excited in my entire life about the goals I am striving to achieve. I have never been this happy and I have never been this grateful. HOWEVER, I found myself answering that question with the same answer: “same old, same old, just working hard.”
In a perfect world, I would start boasting about my dreams and my vision: the intuitive coaching practice I started, and how my spirituality and self-improvement blog called Hashtag Intuition is steadily growing monthly in unique visitors. I would also love to boast about how I’m going to be a successful spiritual mentor and quit my job in the spring because of that very aspiration. But instead, I chose to not share.
Ever have a vision only you can see? I see it, I do.
By accessing my intuition INTENSIVELY, I am able to KNOW I am on the right path. I am so grateful for that, such a blessing. It’s hard when you know who you are and KNOW what you want, because a lot of people just won’t get it or see it. I’ve been laughed at directly in my face by one of my best friends, and earlier in the week last week, my own father laughed about my dream of moving to NYC. That hurt, from both men.
BUTTTTTT I MUST do the very thing I will be teaching my future clients. I need to take responsibility for the way I feel. My hurt feelings are a direct effect of my little support from loved ones, but I have the power to choose to not play the victim. In fact, this is a rare instance where ego can really be of help. You don’t think I can do this? WATCH ME.
The little Italian Jersey girl is getting feisty....
I guess that’s why HATERS exist right? To fuel that fire that is already under my asshole. I can only imagine the look on my father’s face when he finds out I’m quitting my cushy 9 to 5 to fulfill my destiny of being a lightworker and that I have been called to do it by a power that is bigger than me. That’s going to be a rough day…..
Fortunately, I am blessed enough to have an entire community of women, a small team supporting Team Justine (one spirituality mentor and one digital marketing guru), a best friend and soul mate, and actually, a very unlikely source of support, my sister. Beyond blessed.
Throwing some Buddhism at you...
Buddhism states that every human being just wants to be loved and understood. But can you have one without the other? Can these non-supporters love me if they do not understand me? The answer is yes.
I feel so loved today, compared to say, a 20-year-old Justine, who felt like the world was against her, and not a soul on this planet even cared if she was alive or dead. I lived a very lonely life deep down inside. Always had friends, always had boyfriends, and never letting any of them FULLY love me. I always had a blocked chakra until, well, I DIDN’T. Now I’m able to love anyone and everything, including those who hurt me most. It’s been a journey, but that journey has been an amazing experience. Everything from my past has been preparing me for this very moment, so how the FUCK can I ignore it? I literally can’t.
I want to step fully into my new role as an intuitive coach and spiritual mentor, but I am AFRAID. FEAR was the very thing keeping me from standing up at the Thanksgiving table and making a formal announcement. That very vision makes my stomach turn.
I need to constantly remind myself that I am not alone.
The coaching business itself is a growing and lucrative field in itself, with everyone trying to make it. Actors and artists, too. Not to mention, basically any entrepreneur in the world. I guess at some point in these people’s lives, they have had to push past the non-supporters. They have to relinquish the victim mentality and keep going in spite of the lack. Keep on keeping on….
Well, Christmas is less than a month away. This makes me think, should I answer differently this time? I will surely be doing meditations on detaching from the outcome and releasing my victim mentality. I am in LOVE with what I’m doing so I would LOVE to share with my family, despite my resistance. Stay tuned…….