Why I’ve been Afraid to Use the Word God through My Spirituality Journey

God VS The Universe

Since my spiritual journey some time ago, I have been referencing the divine power that has showed me everything I couldn’t see with my physical eyes as, the universe. THE UNIVERSE has my back. THE UNIVERSE doesn’t make mistakes. THE UNIVERSE, THE UNIVERSE, THE UNIVERSE. What the fuck am I actually referencing?

The universe is a force much greater than you. To define it in literal terms is quite hard. The universe is whatever YOU interpret it to be. Now, some people use the term God, and for a while, I was a little weary on that title…..

As previously mentioned, I am a recovering Catholic, and was even enrolled in Catholic School for many years. I was never really into it to begin with. This whole idea about Jesus and The Bible just wasn’t aligning with my beliefs. It was obvious, and so Religion class became a dreadful event…

I guess my ideas about God really turned me off because of my liberal beliefs. I was so sick and tired of the Catholic religion TELLING me what to believe. When you are being forced into ANYTHING it really is quite the turnoff. God= negative thoughts surrounding the word and idea.

Fast forward 14 years and I find myself reading spirituality book after spirituality book after spirituality book. Low and behold, that three-letter word appears occasionally; GOD. I thought this was spirituality not religion? I was confused, but just kept replacing the word with universe, which was the term that was used most of the time anyway.

Why is Gabrielle Bernstein talking about God? Why is Marianne Williamson talking about HIM too? I don’t really get it. Religion is what turned me off in the first place from any type of faith EVER. And mind you, it wasn’t even mentioned as the lowercase ‘god’ as seen in mythology.

Well, gratefully, I wasn’t turned off this time. The context of the readings and lectures were way too gravitating for me to turn the other cheek this time. This time, I will just continuously replace the word with UNIVERSE.

My best friend was the one to first point it out. “Why won’t you say the word God? It clearly says God, but you keep saying Universe.” I thought about it and I just shrugged my shoulders. She then went on to explain God is of a higher power. Your belief system does not have to be tied to Jesus, and the resurrection, and everything The Bible has claimed to have been true. Religion is based on other people’s experience, spirituality is based on your own experiences. I am not a religious person. I am a spiritual being.

Almighty universe, who/what are you? You are certainly not Jesus. I think I will call you, my existential God, a God I KNOW in my heart of hearts, exists. God, I believe you have my back at all times. God, I believe you do not give me what I cannot handle. God, I believe I am love. God= Universe. Universe= God.

Being afraid of using God throughout my spirituality practice has really been limiting my growth. Why? Look at the second word in the first sentence of this paragraph. I was AFRAID. Fear, rearing it’s nonexistent ugly head, yet again. My ego was not allowing me to be associated as a Catholic, as my spiritual self felt disingenuous with this association.

GOD is MY GOD. GOD is my UNIVERSE. God has no physical form. Yet, I KNOW it exists. Just as I know the 7 chakras exist without any physical identification. The best things in life are FELT and not seen….

I will always believe in unicorns and rainbows...

Little heavy for a Hump Day post but these feelings come with a miracle that happened to me a few weeks ago. A miracle is simply just a shift in perception from fear to love. I have never felt so FEARLESS in my entire life. I am not afraid to associate with the term God anymore…..

Feeling hella blessed. God is good :) Thank you <3