Hello, my name is Justine Luzzi, and I am a liar.
WHEW! That felt good to say. I KNOW what you’re thinking, how does this woman who claims to be a truth seeker, call herself a liar? What a fraud…
Let me explain, my dear...
When I first started going through my spiritual transformation about two and a half years ago, it was triggered by a really difficult time in my life. When I was deeply hurt by my last boyfriend, who I had completely surrendered my heart to and was my best friend, I was so sensitive that you couldn’t even make a penis joke around me or I would cry (and I LOVE penis jokes….LOL).
At that particular moment in time, I felt very fearful, very alone, very HURT. Nothing was funny to me, and I needed people to take my feelings 100% seriously or my heart just could not take it. I spent a lot of time alone, really just speaking to the one person in the world that I felt GOT me at that time, and that was my best friend, an inspiring relationship and lifestyle coach.
In my quest for people taking my feelings seriously, I needed to ACT the part. Be TRUTHFUL, ALL DAY EVERY DAY. I was always like this, just now it was MAGNIFIED. Let me break that down a bit more though, not sure if I am articulating that quite correctly…
I PRIDE myself on telling the truth. I do this for a few reasons actually. See below:
- I WANT THE TRUTH BACK. If I am being truthful to you, you SHOULD be truthful to me. Although I am a recovering Catholic, that phrase ‘Do onto others, as you would want done onto you’ still resonates with me. But the truth is, nobody SHOULD be doing anything. Just because I tell the truth, does not necessarily mean someone else will. These are expectations that are made in my head, and if someone does not meet them, I get upset. When in reality, they never agreed to these expectations, in fact, they probably didn’t even know they existed.
- I’M HIGHLY INTUITIVE SO IT IS QUITE DIFFICULT FOR ME. I am so in tune with my intuition that I need to live my highest truth at all times. I am constantly going in the right direction and when I veer off the road, my intuition will make that very clear. There are a lot of people out there that are mostly logical, and not emotional. It is harder for them to listen to their heart and intuition. Instead, listening to the ego and doing what they THINK they should be doing, causes them to be living a lie. But that’s the thing, most of the time they don’t even know it, or choose to ignore it. It’s easier this way. Easier but not better.
- JUST BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN CALLED TO BE A LIGHT WORKER AND SPIRITUAL LEADER DOES NOT MEAN I’M BETTER THAN OTHERS. Oh man, this is a big one. I know this is about to sound crazy, but sometimes I am so much in my head, I FORGET, like literally FORGET, I am a human being. I am so in touch with heart/intuition/soul that I forget that I walk this earth as a human being in a rented body. I FORGET I drink vodka and love The Kardashians. It’s nuts, but when I am vibrating on such a high level, I forget I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like everyone else. I have to admit, I have a lot more knowledge than a lot of others on love, spirituality, and Buddhism, because I put in the WORK. There have been many times while you were out at the bar, being a normal 20-something, I was at home meditating, praying, and reading DEEP books that have paragraphs that need to be read three times in order for me to understand it. But this knowledge is power, not a feeding device for the ego. So just because I have it, doesn’t mean I’m better than you. It simply means, I need to spread it. And look where I am today. Doing just that. I have been called, and I am answering. So please, forgive me if I am coming across as condescending, I am just human, and the ego is being an asshole. I am trying to love you and teach you, but I must find a better approach. I’M WORKING ON IT.
- IF I DON’T TELL THE TRUTH OR TALK ABOUT MY TRUE FEELINGS I WILL SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST. Okay, that was an exaggeration (or a lie, however you look at it, LOL). I actually won’t burst into flames, but I will surely feel like a bag of dog poop. HAHAHA. This is how I realized I was a truth seeker. I want to know the truth at all times. This explains my obsession with aliens (they’re REAL, you know), the supernatural, and all things metaphysical. Just look around at what my life has become… total truth seeker status.
Okay, with all that being said, I have had this perception in my head, that, I, Justine Luzzi, does not lie. I would say that little mantra over and over and over again. UNTIL, I had a friend that called me out.
“Everyone lies. You lie, Justine.” He said. I got SUPER OFFENDED (ALL EGO, how could I LIE?? It’s not like I’m human or anything…)
A change in perspective
So months go by, and I’m just living my truth seeker life, and then there was a moment that changed my perspective.
I was commuting home from NYC and I was running to catch my train. I walked right past this homeless man, and he said “Do you have any money you can spare me so I can eat tonight?” Without hesitation, I said “No, sorry.” BOOM. LIE. I just lied to this man. I had money to spare, but I don’t trust him, I wanted it for myself, and I was going to miss my train. But, that is indeed, a lie.
As soon as I got on the train, I texted my friend, “I am a liar!” I explained the story. Now, that was TWO lies, one about the homeless man and the other about how I never lie. I am a full blown liar and I am disgusted.
That’s where the fraud came in. How am I going to be an intuitive coach and coach others when I am such a fraud? After talking to some of my personal coaches, I gained some clarity. In fact, my own intuitive coach has an awesome line “OMG, you’re human?! That’s CRAZY!!!!” HAHAHA, you gotta love her. But she’s right. Lying and being a fraud are two COMPLETELY different things.
Self-awareness and consciousness is a beautiful thing
The fact that I EVEN had this realization is why I was destined to become an intuitive coach. This I KNOW. I am human, with extensive spiritual and emotional knowledge, ready to assist anyone who needs it. I am doing the best I can with what I have. When you know better you do better. And I am SO READY to support you with what I know :)