It’s both a blessing and a curse to feel so deeply.
Isn’t that the truth? It’s really hard when you love everyone and everything. You give everyone a second (third, fourth, nineteenth) chance, you trust everyone until they give you a reason not to, and you view the world as if it was painted in rainbows and unicorns roam the street freely.
Yes, there are people like that that do exist, and I am surely one of them. But I’m here to tell you that there is a way to have healthy boundaries AND love like a badass.
When you are loving hard and neglecting your self-care you can use a tool I like to call ‘conscious reasoning.’ I actually haven’t heard the term used a lot (I MAY or MAY NOT have coined it) but it accurately describes the process in which you can use logic and rationale when it is needed most.
What is conscious reasoning?
Conscious reasoning is the cognitive process of thinking logically. Those that love too much tend to live in their hearts, and make decisions based on love. This is great, but even I can admit there are times when you are in a toxic situation that actually choosing self-love is more of the answer you seek.
Being present is actually the catalyst that will get you to conscious reasoning. Understanding where you are now, and clarifying how things ACTUALLY are now, as opposed to what your heart FEELS to be true. This can be a huge turning point and can actually lead to a major shift.
Listen, I’m not saying, don’t listen to your heart. In fact, you should listen to your heart at all times. But to be clear about what it is actually saying is a whole different story.
I hope to develop conscious reasoning in the future (a possible Ph. D. study) and help those who love deeply get back to a place a joy and playfulness.