How Do You Determine the Last Straw?
When someone has screwed you (and not in the GOOD way), do you automatically cut them off? I’m only asking because I used to be the MAYOR of Cutting People Off. The funny thing is, you would think I’m a cold-hearted bitch, but really, I was just good at pretending I was someone I’m not.
So NOW, present day, I am the COMPLETE opposite. In fact, I often find myself putting my needs before others, which can lead to me sacrificing my own self-care.
For example, I dated one of my best friends and once that shit turned into a Sour Patch Kid gone wrong, FRIENDSHIP OVER. I couldn’t even look at him, it made me emotionally sick to my stomach, and would PHYSICALLY cause me to projectile vomit (that’s a little dramatic; I usually always made it in the toilet).
So was I being a cold-hearted bitch when he needed me in those two years I completely cut him out of my life? I mean, there was the time I heard his brother died, and I sent my condolence text. It KILLED me I couldn’t put my emotions aside and actually be there, but I just couldn’t do it. I wasn’t emotionally able to handle it. That will forever haunt me, but I GUESS I have to let it go (accept & surrender).
I guess the point I’m trying to drive home here, is at what point is too much to handle as far as overextending yourself to others? In addition to that, how far is too far overextending yourself to those who have hurt you the most?
Helping those that hurt you deeply, especially while still feeling the wound and receiving no remorse from the other party, has got to be the most challenging thing on this planet, at least for me. Unfortunately, this solidifies my hypothesis that my ego is large and in charge.
“You are not the ego, so when you become aware of the ego in you, it does not mean that you know who you are – it means you know who you are not.” –Eckhart Tolle
I can identify when my ego controls me. Therefore, I am aware it is not who I am.
With that being said, I had an ex-boyfriend contact me yesterday. He is back with his wife and the decision SEEMS (only assumptions, but using my intuition here) that he is not happy and could really use a trusted friend (ME, just in case that wasn’t clear.) Do I turn my back on the married ex or do I reach out with compassion and BE THERE with BOUNDARIES.
I choose be there with boundaries. Old Justine (the ego-driven cunt nugget) would choose FUCK HIM HE SCREWED YOU (again, not in the good way, but also not saying the physical wasn’t bad). I’m just going to take this as a compliment that someone trusts me enough to confide in me. That thought alone warms my heart and reinforces my desire to transition into intuition coaching.
So how do you determine the last straw? There is no last straw, just love and boundaries.
Choose love <3