Loving a Narcissist as Told by an Empath
First and foremost, let me start off the story by explaining what an empath and a narcissist are. A narcissist is pretty easy to figure out. Perhaps you’ve heard of the infamous myth, Echo and Narcissus. This story speaks to the under spoken woman who was pining for a man who was only into himself. ‘I do not doubt that Echo was an empath and there’s no coincidence the word narcissist practically stems from Narcissus’ name. Whether you believe in myths or not, there’s some truth to the story, and those that retell it are obviously pretty smart in the psychology department.
A narcissist is a person who only thinks about ways in which things can better himself. It’s all about the ego. They are usually so busy trying to make sure their reputation is stellar. They care so much about what others think and they usually lack empathy, because they simply can’t fathom being in someone else’s shoes, even for a second. This personality is usually found in leaders and high-profile people. With that being said, sometimes having a narcissistic personality is a good thing, ensuring your way through this exhaustively hard world. It almost acts as a survival guide, because unfortunately, narcissistic people are the weakest and most fragile, something you would never be able to tell or see just by knowing them. That outside exterior, or what I call a MASK, is not real.
Since my spiritual awakening almost two years ago, I’ve spent a lot of time researching love and ego. Some say, love has no opposite (like the very wise Eckhart Tolle). But then again, some say the opposite of love is EGO. I actually lean more with this belief as I have used the ego many times to escape from relationships. The ego is really not even real. It’s a false self of ours that we pretend is real, merely for protection of our heart. Egotistical people are the most vulnerable for this reason. Only a trained psychological eye can see that.
So I guess this brings me to an explanation of an empath.
An empath is a highly emotional person who feels things very deeply. This can be seen as either a blessing or a curse, and I believe most empaths would agree it’s more like a curse. As a fellow empath, I go both ways, and when I’m feeling very hurt, I’m obviously leaning towards a CURSE. But on the opposite end, when I feel immense love, I am very grateful I am on this Earth and able to feel it at all.
Three years ago, I fell in love with a full-blown narcissist, before I even knew what a narcissist was. I couldn’t understand why I was feeling the way I was feeling. I loved him, it was evident, but I kept pulling away. Later I realized I was pulling away because this person lacked serious empathy and as an empath (hence the name) that’s the one thing I truly needed to feel. I needed to trust that my feelings were being taken seriously. They were not.
This whole experience threw me head first into a Kundalini Awakening, but that is neither here nor there. I was wounded for a very long time, and he moved on to someone else rather quickly who thought he was the best thing that ever walked this earth. She stroked his ego so much that that was enough to sustain the relationship for two years. That is, until it came to a screeching halt. SHOCKER.
This narcissist came back to tell me he never stopped loving me, that I’m different from other people. I already know that. The ironic thing about this fiasco is that this relationship between the narcissist and I, is the best thing to ever happen to me, because without it, I never would have realized what I’m truly here to do. That is to love unconditionally, and spread love, inspire change, and preach the spirituality word.