"Stability is Overrated" Said the Unstable Girl

"Stability is Overrated" Said the Unstable Girl

That’s the third time I’ve heard that from someone this week. This was in response to my desperate plea for some stable grounding in my life.

So we work hard for what we really want, eh? That statement could not be any truer. I wanted my graduate degree, so I drove my ass to Fairfield, Connecticut twice a week from North Jersey to get it.

If I wanted stability, wouldn’t I have it already?

MIND FUCK.

Let’s break this down. It is in my nature to not be content with my life the way it is. Don’t get me wrong, I am sure as hell not UNHAPPY. In fact, I am the happiest I’ve been in years, and that’s all thanks to following my intuition.

There’s something that lives inside me. I can feel it, I always have. This yearning to change the world consumes me. BUT HOW? That’s the million dollar question I suppose…

What has the person, who has been at the same place in their life this time last year, accomplished? How do you think they really feel about their life? Going nowhere fast? I can only imagine so....

That feeling would kill me. It gives me a sinking feeling in my chest as we speak. But what is making me react this way? Is it that overwhelming urge to accomplish my dreams, or is it my fear of commitment that lies deep within my soul?

Stability would be nice. Not moving for a year would be a nice change. It would also be pleasant to say I’ve actually done something consistent for more than two years. A wave of jealousy hits me when people talk about relationships with their significant others or their stable jobs for 7, 8, 9, years. I want that.

But do I?

If I did, I’d make it happen. I’m the most ambitious person I know…..