Breaking up with Yoga is Hard to Do
The first time I ever tried yoga was with a friend. I am naturally clumsy to begin with, so as you can imagine, I was falling all over myself. I couldn’t even do a downward dog if my life depended on it. Then, to make matters worse, someone passed gas and that led to a hysterical fit of laughter from my inner frat-boy self.
After the one hour class that seemed like an eternity, I turned to my friend and I admitted to my hatred of all things yoga. I am the type of person that needed to be constantly moving. With my busy schedule, if I am spending an hour at a gym, I am doing some intense cardio that will eventually make my butt look like an upside-down peach.
About 6 months later, I had my spiritual awakening. I was finally still for the first time in my life, and every emotion I never wanted to feel, had been felt. I was so busy-being-busy that I never took the time to feel those feelings, and I can only describe it as an emotional tornado. Suddenly, yoga didn’t seem out of the ordinary for me. In fact, it seemed like just what I needed.
So, I took myself to my first yoga class as a mindful young adult. What it did for me, was nothing short of a miracle. My yoga teacher taught me the importance of breathing and meditating. I felt absurdly hurt and with each breath, felt a small pinch better. So shortly after, another miracle happened. I bought a package of six yoga classes. I happily attended each class on a bi-weekly schedule. The truth is, I didn’t find anything funny now. What I did find was an outlet for my anxiety and my broken heart.
That was two years ago. I noticed my desire for yoga started to dwindle. I started taking up different exercise routines, kickboxing was one of them. I felt like my old self again, doing high-intensity work-outs. THEN the guilt starting creeping up….
How could I turn my back on yoga? HOW? If it wasn’t for yoga, I’d still be drowning in alcohol and pretending I wasn’t hurt. I’d STILL be covering up my feelings and repeating old patterns that simply just didn’t work for me anymore.
Yoga, you have come into my life, showed me how to combine BEING STILL and EXERCISE. But sometimes in life, things come to you for a reason, and it is okay to LET THEM GO when it no longer serves you. I think this is the biggest lesson in my life that I need to accept. Yoga has shared its purpose with me and is leaving my life with lessons I’ll carry with me for the rest of it. This includes breathing exercises, patience, and meditation tips.
Thank you, yoga. You were so sweet in a RECKLESS and CONFUSING time. Without you, I wouldn’t be the person I am. Maybe we’ll meet again, maybe we won’t. But for now, I have to go. I won’t say goodbye, because you never really know when a goodbye is a REAL goodbye. So in that case, keep doing your thing. Only time will tell…..