Why is Everyone Moving Away From Me? A Question Straight from the Ego’s Mouth
My title says it all, huh? Why is everyone moving away from ME? That question is the most egotistical thing one person can say. What does everyone moving have to do with ME anyway? Let’s break this down.
Last week, I get a text from my sister saying ‘she’s going to do it.’ Do what? Move to California. She’s serious and needs a change. My first reaction is ‘Yay! You should experience that and it would be really good for you!’ As the next hour passes, my ATTACHMENT issues YET AGAIN begin to rear their ugly head. MY SISTER IS MOVING ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
As per usual, I would love to talk about my feelings. So I first turn to my best friend and tell her how I feel. She then proceeds to tell me that she and her boyfriend have been talking and they may buy property in Florida in the next year or so. WHAT? COME AGAIN? HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?
So now that’s my sister AND my best friend moving to complete opposite spectrums of the East Coast. NOW I feel worse and turn to my guy best friend. His response; ‘I may move to California too if I don’t get this raise I’m asking for.’ After hearing that, my DESPERATION kicked in and I even offered to pay him a stipend of $400 a month to stay on the East Coast. Attachment issues much? SMDH.
You heard all of this right. In a matter of a couple hours, both my best friends and sister have decided to leave me within the next year. Now that you know the story, let’s bring my LARGER THAN LIFE ego into this.
Did you see what I wrote? I said they are leaving ME. This is blatant proof that my ego controls me, and I would rather ME be happy then have THREE people who I care about the most, fulfill their hopes and dreams.
SELFISH. But I don’t mean to be! As a highly sensitive individual with attachment issues, information like this can be really painful. I immediately wanted to drink seven vodka martinis to dull the pain, but thankfully I remembered I am a student of Buddhism. I just silently said to myself (I'm ALWAYS talking to myself) ‘I need to change the way I’m thinking.’ Here’s a breakdown on my thought process...
They are not leaving my life, just leaving the state
Yes, they won’t be instantly accessible anymore, but how often do I see them anyway? Our lives are so busy to begin with. That’s the thing with figuring out who you are, things are bound to change. Everything is impermanent and it all comes down to accepting that truth. YOU MUST ACCEPT THAT EVERYTHING IS IMPERMANENT. Just saying this mantra during meditation helps. Want to know what also helps? Remembering we live in a very digital world and communication is so easily accessible. These days, we can tweet, text, Facebook message, AIM, Trillian, gchat, FaceTime, Skype, IG direct, just about anyone at any time. Oh yeah, and we can call them too...
When those I care about follow their dreams, it’s not only helping them, it’s helping me live mine, too
Yes, this statement is a little selfish and egoistical, but relate-able, and I could really use it right now. I call it a SILVER LINING STATEMENT. By having them live all over country, I have the ability to be cultured and experience new things just by default of visiting them. This is also a learning experience for my spirituality, too! I have this vision in my head (my INTUITION, it always knows what kind of life I want to lead) of travel. I do not see myself being stuck in one particular place. In fact, I have my heart set on being bi-coastal one day. So what does it matter if my sister and friend beat me to it? I’ll meet you on the West Coast ;)
As usual, the ego can suck it
In the end, it doesn’t matter how I feel about it, because it has absolutely nothing to do with me. That ego of mine always rears its ugly head FIRST. I thank the universe every single day for my conscious awareness, because I am able to recognize this and nip it in the bud (did someone say bud? Haahaha just kidding!). When you choose ego, you are not choosing love. Love is freedom. I choose to choose LOVE, always and forever.
To my loves: Have fun my little chickadees and explore this beautiful world we live in :)