I’m Getting Too Lumpy in My Old Age- My Fitness Journey

The Fast Track To My Fitness Dreams

Lumpy? HAHA isn’t that the truth! I must say, the East Coast has had one of the coldest winters in a long time (try MOVING in the snow, SMDH). These disturbingly low temperatures gave me every excuse in the book to prevent myself from getting out of my bed, and moving my AGING, LUMPY body. I swear, yes I feel as if New York City is where I belong, but I need constant sunshine in my life to get my Vitamin D levels up and get motivated. This could very well be stemmed from my deep desire to tan, but that is neither here nor there.

So as summer ROLLED around, I noticed more ROLLS than usual (see what I did there?). Then, last week I had a doctor’s appointment and, against my will, was forced to be put on the scale (she held a gun to my head, I swear). The scale read 135 pounds. SMDH.

An Ass That is Fatter Than Usual

At my 5’2” small frame (ugh I hate my height, hence my constant wearing of my ‘Spice Girls shoes’), that is about 5 pounds from being considered overweight. Although I am not a big advocate for scales and BMI (muscle weighs more than fat, people!), that number was more than enough to alarm me and get my FATASS (don’t worry, I love myself no matter the size, but my ass is truly fatter than usual) moving at high speed.

It’s been a week and half since my vow to get back to a solid 118 pounds (I like odd numbers) and within that week I have run a total of 20 miles. Go me! Also within that time, I have made a strict regimen of no coffee, no weed, and no alcohol. Over this past weekend, I have succumbed to two of the three vices. Where is my discipline?

I used to be SO good at discipline. It’s funny because it was coffee and alcohol that I surrendered to, and weed is probably the healthiest of the three. But regardless of the harshness of the vices, I need to detox this poor body of mine, especially since I am living until I am 130 years old. Yes, that’s right, you read that correctly. 130, baby!

Get those Garbage Foods Away From Me

What I haven’t caved on in the last week and half was my diet. I find diet to be relatively easy for me to stick to. I believe this is because of a combination of reasons. For one, I literally can’t eat bad food; my body will instantly reject it. When I refuse fried foods it’s not because I’m depriving myself of it, it’s because I will literally feel like death for about three days after that fried calamari hits my lips. So I’m not depriving myself, I’m literally just saving myself from death (and by death I mean STUFF spewing from both ends, if you know what I mean, gross right?). If you could avoid that, wouldn’t you too? I also am fully aware of the three most dangerous and unhealthy edibles:

  1. Gluten & Wheat
  2. Dairy
  3. Excess Sugar

I call these the deadly three. By eliminating these from my diet, and eating healthy fats, fruits, and vegetables, I know I can achieve my goals. This is why the Paleo lifestyle works so well for me. It is the closest lifestyle to CLEAN EATING. Disclaimer: I do not follow Paleo SUPER strictly, as I have peanut butter, beans, and edamame quite often. I am fully aware that Paleo restricts legumes.

So with all that being said, I am BEYOND committed to meeting my fitness goals. The two main focuses here are:

  1. Getting to 118 pounds
  2. Toning my body, ESPECIALLY my arms
  3. Being able to run a marathon
  4. Living to 130 years old

Ok, so that last one is more of a LONG-TERM goal (you think?) But you get the idea.

You Can Do Anything You Set Your Mind To!

Think I can do it? The answer is YES, YES, YES. You can do anything you put your mind to if you want it badly enough. I’m continuing running in the mornings before work, and once August hits, I will be taking up CrossFit. I’m excited, and a little late on the game, too. I heard it’s a great workout for High Interval Intensity Training (HIIT) and also a great community to meet like-minded people. Although I will be waking up MAD EARLY (5:30AM class, pray for me), I truly believe I CAN DO THIS.

It’s Always Fun When A Reward is Involved

I think tattoos are truly beautiful and although I keep saying, THIS IS THE LAST ONE, I want a plethora of them. So, let’s get this body into shape first and then start tatting it up. That will be the reward, the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s just more motivating to have one. Something tells me this is not going to easy.

I’m not giving myself a timeline; I am just going to plow through until I get there. I know I will have some snags. Coffee is essential, but I drink it black, or with almond milk, and only limit myself to two cups a day. Alcohol is my kryptonite, more specifically vodka, but when I drink it’s either vodka clubs or vodka martinis (low caloric intake, just very low nutritional value). As for weed, it harms my poor, meek hippo-campus, which stores my precious short-term memories. It’s so bad for that little guy, so I will CUT DOWN. Weed actually suppresses my appetite, which TECHNICALLY is a good thing (JUST SAYING!). But I will still cut down.

Ok there it is my diet-exercise regimen for this NONBASIC BITCH. Legooooooo

Stay tuned, I’ll update you on my journey :)

My Very First Vision Board and It's Fabulous

#iamcompassion: Participating in the Global Meditation for Compassion