Well, hello there! Greetings from New York City! I’m feeling some type of way and I figured if I start writing, I can pinpoint this foul mood. I’m having a hard time focusing on my full-time job, which is pretty typical for a Friday before a holiday weekend. BUT there is a lack of focus for this blog and my business as well, which is pretty out of the norm for me.
I am entrepreneur-minded and when things are stagnant it takes a beating on my soul. But then again, maybe that’s not even it. Maybe, I feel some type of disconnect from spirit. When that happens, I feel really out of touch with the universe. BUT, how could that be? I’ve been meditating on the regular, watched The Shift (Wayne Dyer’s movie, OMG SO SO GOOD) the other night, and had my FIRST coaching call last night that went FABULOUS. So what is my FUNK about?
In a previous blog post, I had written about my anxiety about money. I think that is what’s getting to me. I think that, and my anxiety about starting my coaching practice. I just feel completely out of my element, thinking to myself, THIS ISN’T PRACTICAL.
I have thoughts such as, WHO ARE YOU TO COACH ANYONE ELSE? And WHY WOULD ANYONE PAY FOR THIS? I’m feeling a sense of inadequacy. I also know that I need to find some type of balance between my old life and my new life. I think I KNOW I have the potential to go so far with this, I’m just TERRIFIED of the people I’m going to lose. It’s not a typical career choice, being an intuitive coach. I mean it’s not like I’m telling people I’m going to be an accountant. An accountant is easy to comprehend, what I’m doing is not. If only...
I guess this is where my attachment issues come to light. I’ll give you a little example…..
One of my ex-boyfriend’s recently came back into my life. And when I say, back in my life, I mean just a text message group chat that was started where he is included as recipient. The shear fact that I actually get to just speak to him electronically on a semi-regular basis fills my heart with tremendous JOY. A sense of familiarity is bittersweet and comforting. My attachment to nostalgia is overwhelming. BUT, we all know nothing great ever came from a comfort zone….
This particular ex-boyfriend reminds me of a time, where everything was so innocent. My thought process was unconscious, I was a confused little bumble bee, and I had a lot of “FRIENDS”. I was your typical 20-something. But when you’re confused, and you continuously ask the universe for a sign, TELL ME MY PURPOSE, UNIVERSE. TELL ME. Ask, and you shall receive….
Now I’m here. I asked for it and I AM TERRIFIED. It’s so true when people say that you are your own worst enemy. SO TRUE. The only person stopping me from being successful right now, is me.
I actually just finished talking to my friend about my funk. She said she was in one yesterday and now is upbeat and normal today. I asked her what she did differently, and her response was this:
“I woke up today, and said, What kind of mood do I WANT to be in today? I get to choose. Is it going to be a good day, or is it going to be a bad day? It’s going to be a good day.”
Powerful. Just powerful. I need to remember this, ESPECIALLY as a coach. Okay, I choose happiness. This is it. Go away funk, ain’t nobody got time for that…..