Never say never, an unexpected source comes through....
When I feel fear, I realllllyyy feel it. So when I was feeling fearful last winter due to a horrible fiasco with a narcissistic ex-boyfriend, I didn’t expect another ex-boyfriend to actually help heal the wounds.
The universe always has perfect timing and I believe this particular situation was a blessing. In fact, I never thought this particular ex-boyfriend would ever talk to me again, because I had hurt him, but mostly because his girlfriend did not want him talking to me.
Low and behold, they had broken up in August, and a very good friend of ours was getting married in September. As I was getting ready for the wedding of a lifetime, I actually wondered if he would even acknowledge my presence.
The day arrived, and when we locked eyes across the room, he did a half-smile but all I could do was wave enthusiastically. I was so happy to see him I could just cry.
In fact, the last time I had seen him, I waited on him, our mutual friends, and his angry girlfriend, at the restaurant I was working at. Turns out, she was so upset I was the waitress, she spent half the night crying in the bathroom. Of course, this became knowledge to me AFTER the fact and instantly made me feel bad. I guess my ex-boyfriend and I could never really have a friendship. The ex-boyfriends as friends things never really truly works out anyway, right?
Anyway, back at the wedding, he had finally approached me and we exchanged our hellos. He was actually in the wedding party and had a lot of duties to attend to, so only minimal speaking and catching up was done.
But then a miracle happened (remember: miracles are just a shift from fear to love). A few days after the wedding my ex-boyfriend started to contact me. We started talking on a friendly basis. Turns out, he works professionally fixing printers, and in that very moment of time, my printer was malfunctioning.
The day he came over to fix my printer was an important day for me. When people touch my heart, I feel like they will never understand the magnitude of it….
Not to get side tracked but my best friend, just a few weeks ago, was making fun of me because every time someone did something even remotely nice for me, I would enthusiastically say, ‘THANK YOU SO MUCH.’ She said I said it after everything. And I said, ‘What if I am grateful for everything?’ Since when did being grateful become a bad thing?
Anyway, I digress. But basically, I had immense gratitude towards my ex-boyfriend after what he said to me at the diner after we fixed my printer. We were catching up on each other’s lives, and I believe this sentence came flying out of my mouth: ‘I am pretty much afraid of everything these days.’ His response:
“Well this doesn’t sound like you. This isn’t the Justine I know.”
And instead of saying, ‘Well people change, you know!’, I found myself have an epiphany right there and then. This isn’t who I am, and sometimes you just need someone who loves and believes in you, to tell you that.
Like I mentioned, he’ll never understand the magnitude of gratitude about what he said. But after I hugged and kissed him goodbye, I went and locked myself into my room, sat down, and meditated. After around ten minutes or so, I opened my eyes to find myself feeling less fearful. Fear is really just an illusion. It actually isn’t real, our minds just make it seem that way. In fact, the only thing that is real is love, and it comes from your heart and intuition. All the rest doesn’t matter.
I started waking up each day feeling less fearful and more empowered.
As everyone knows, I believe in angels, and I believe they are around you all the time. As certain as I am about guardian angels, I am just as certain as angels walking this earth as humans. And my ex-boyfriend, that very moment, was an angel to me.
There’s a lesson in here about staying present. One second you could be wondering if a certain person will ever speak to you again, and the next second they could be helping you save yourself.
Miracles, man, happen every damn day.